Chronicles of Part 2 Exams- The Examgiver's Fear

>> Friday, July 04, 2008

The heart of a young girl is a precious gift which should be given wisely. No sole man deserves to be loved wholly and completely by a young, pure, virginal heart in the spring of youth. Hence,

"So this is the final comprehensive, holistic, exhaustive list of the men I am in love with right now. Class hottie, Physics Department hottie, random guy we saw in the canteen last month, the guy standing behind you right now and Johnny Depp."

"You forgot Ronaldo."

"Oh, yes.... Ronaldo. "




A sacred silence pierced by the drone of mathematical formulae being memorized all around was thus the high point of my Maths exam.

Pre-examination conversation often ranges from the desultory to the conventional. Barely reaching peaks of "Oh My God, when was this chapter added in the syllabus?", it fails to appeal to a connoisseur of interesting conversations. Then again, when you are meeting your classmates after six months, you tend to forget what brought you together in the first place. Sometimes, it takes examinations to make you realize what you knew all along, how much more amazing face-to-face conversation is.

"So, you know right I have sort of decided to dump Economics and do something else. I keep on asking everyone what options I might have, but none of them have had those clear moments which follow a revelation, when you realize, oh, but of course, that is what I am meant for."

"Ever wondered about thinking it out yourself? You know, discovering for yourself what you are meant for?"

(Accompanied by a deprecating glance) " I did that. How do you think I ended up in Economics in the first place? (Sigh) Bonky, what do you think I should do with my life?"

(Random stranger joins in the conversation)
"Ritika, can I bank on you for the Modern Algebra part? I heard you are having problems with 3D. I could give you a hand with it."

Lots of blinks follow.

"Who are you?"

More blinks.

"I am your classmate. I sit behind you. I was the one who gave you one of the objectives of Land Reforms."

"You know me?"


"Ohh. Hey, what do you think I should do with my life?"

I was waved at by a thief. Or a cat burglar. I did not really get to know his nom de plume. First I watched him get in and out of windows. Then he watched me taking videos of him getting in and out of windows. Convinced that this was the start of a beautiful friendship, he waved at me. And he kept on doing so till I decided I was traumatized enough to go call up Bonky and then tell her in details of the burglar's deeds. It mostly involved the climbings and a shiny object. I conjectured the man was smuggling a largish damond. Bonky thinks it was a
knife he was planning to throw at me to kill the sole witness. The fact that the distance was considerable (can never judge distances, lets just call it considerable) did not dampen her hypotheses-excitement. The more prosaic Pingu thinks he probably dropped a coin. But we never pay any attention to her opinions anyway. They are always right and boring.

"Sometimes I wish some female had created the world. It would be so perfect and full of non fattening food. Also no exams. But some male hyper competitive mind came in and ruined everything."
"Hey, you never know. God might be a female."
"Rubbish. Females are perfectionists."
"Are you? Am I? Amir Khan is a female?"
"That is because we have been created by a bachelor God. Female Gods must be perfect."
"True. Maybe ten years from now we could all live in a world run by females."
"We would probably be dead in ten years. Hopefully heaven is run by females. And lots of Vodka and icecream. I am definite heaven is a place full of vodka and icecream."
"Female gods would have probably included background music in their created Earth. We could have gangsta rap on our way to the exam hall."
"Or Bhojpuri stuff when its true love."
"Or Dido if its not."
(gleefully rubbing palms) "The world would be so confused. Muhahahahahahahaha. No one would know whether they loved someone or not and then we would come in and pick up the best guys and play Enrique. They would think we were their soulmates."
"Oh, but I hate Enrique."
"Noooo, not him, you have an appalling taste in men"
"I lurve him"
"Yeah. Lao him. Totally"
"Yup. Lao."
"But I do not really know the lyrics."
"Oh, we will make them up as we go."

And we happily proceeded to sing "shadher lau" with made up lyrics until they allowed us into the classrooms where Bonky tore her shoes and then we both got lost and ended up in the boys' section. Much fun was had until we were directed to the right room.

We also gave a fairly decent exam which went on to prove exams never make sense anyway.

14 scaly flippers:

What's In A Name ? 10:12 pm, July 04, 2008  

tora to sob ek ekta ingrez rey!!!! nijeder moddhye eto ingrizitey kotah bolish!

the girl with a zillion namesakes 12:10 am, July 05, 2008  

your post made me cry nostalgic tears

onnesha 1:56 am, July 08, 2008  

bhojpuri song and lao are indeed inextricably related to one another.i agree.

ArSENik 2:45 am, July 08, 2008  

Nice. The vodka and ice cream heaven was romantic, probably helped by a lau song from Jaane Tu ... that I was listening to. And then, and then, the Bhojpuri tunes brought us back to earth. An earth ruled by evil fembots, making feminist heaven creators look like angels in comparison.

PS: Shit! You make me wanna blog again. Had forgotten the joy of nonsense writing. But time, alas, time is just such a bitch.

vanilla sky 4:37 pm, July 08, 2008  

Entry of the thief added an unconventional touch to the before-the-exam scene!

Doubletake, Doublethink. 9:30 pm, July 09, 2008  

why ronaldo? why not cassilas??

btw, i am back from the dead, muahahha. i haev new url, hence i shall rule the world.

inihos 11:16 pm, July 09, 2008  

the thief just waved at you...thats it?!
nothing happened after that?!

I'll try 2 be truthful 10:30 am, July 10, 2008  

ya examinatioons are also a srt of meeting place for , friends , & somehow you tend to get help from all sorts of people . nice post

The none 11:43 am, July 11, 2008  

Ronaldo? Cristiano? CR7 is god!

There's this english version of "saadher lau". I don't know if you've heard it. It goes on like "beloved lau, has made a boiragi". And for bhojpuri songs, I have a uge collection. Try out
Its my favorite.

P.S: Too much mathematics is by the way the best thing that can happen to me :P

dreamy 5:57 pm, July 12, 2008  

you forgot Ronaldo?!

~Moo-lah Buz!nezzz~ 3:32 pm, July 15, 2008  

Whats with non-Russian females and vodka?
Its all cool!

aandthirtyeights 4:12 pm, July 17, 2008  

You are referring to the Portuguese Ronaldo, right? (even that surprises me, but its more understandable!)

Poojo C. 12:00 am, July 18, 2008  

I think you should develop a crush on the thief. He obviously likes you. He waved at you with a diamond in his palm. Do I hear wedding bells? :P

ad libber 4:41 am, July 18, 2008  

you hardly expect me to write a blogpost in Bengali. I am incapable of writing my name in Bengali.

I cried too. This conversation was before my Maths exam. And I will never have a Maths exam again.

when you do fall in love, inform me. I will take all sorts of pains to play your background music at appropriate moments.

well, you blogged :)

@vanilla sky
the thief was the reason I could not study orthogonal trajectories

@doubletake, doublethink
OK, actually I have a crush on Luca, but when I tell people so, I see them blink in horror. So I stick to the more conventional Ronaldo.

there might have, but I have commitment phobia (refer to poojo's comment). So I ducked and ran off to the loo and waited there till he disappeared.

@the trier

@the none
I realize stuff like this when its too late :(

I also forgot Jude Law :(

russian females don't like vodka?

Yes I was. Why?

Damn it, I was busy having a crush on the thief :P Anyone who makes it his business to jump in and out of windows is so totally my sort of man. I had to panic at the decisive moment :(

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