Because I am Not Sleepy

>> Monday, November 05, 2007

This post is about nothing. It has no literary value whatsoever. No opinion will ever be dictated here. I probably should be sleeping while I type this, but I do not care. Let dark circles remain a permanent feature of my physical attributes. I will show them they are not everything.

Love is a weird thing. Here you are, thinking there is no man on earth who could be everything you wish him to be (which includes having the guts to dance on the roof of a train and be a criminal mastermind) and then suddenly you see him serenading Audrey Hepburn. Life suddenly becomes topsy-turvy. And anyone who suggests this is a school girl crush, may you get the Wagga Wagga disease.
Kolkata buses have many faults. But no one could label them dull. From banters between a fisherwoman and the conductor to free-for-alls, they never lack the human element of comedy. However, the government thinks otherwise. What with too many passengers being dragged to depots because they fall asleep on long bus rides and snore past their stops, they decided not to risk the unpredictable presence of over sensitive passengers and went and added radios. They possibly voted for television firstly, but what with the universal demand for soaps clashing with the fact that they are mostly R-rated, they decided on the radio, where the most harmful thing for children's ears would be the Bula-di advertisements. But since everyone knows them and can recite them backwards, word- perfect, that was not much of a scare.
(BTW, what is it with minibuses and Big FM? Has Mukesh Ambani taken over RT-72 bus? Is a chain of buses the next big thing he wishes to gift his wife after that joke of a jet plane?)

So here was I, one sad Friday afternoon, dragging my sorry self to a Statistics class, pondering on the meaning of life when the friendly, neighborhood radio decided to play the title track of Bhul Bhulaiya again, for what I could make out, the fifth time in the hour. That was when I realized how desperately I was in love. For Gregory Peck materialized in front of me singing that very song, for ME!!! For the next five minutes, i gazed openmouthed at the conductor, for Peck always seemed to hang around him, resurrected from death, lip syncing a pseudo-rap song from a Hindi movie, all because I have a wild imagination and have watched DDLJ absolutely too many times.

I could not concentrate much on my tuition either. Peck seemed to hang around a lot near my teacher's left ear, just looking in that heart warming manner of his.

As if I do not already have enough reasons to quit bothering to educate myself further.

I still do not feel sleepy. I might prolong this post a bit more. I wonder how many of my blogrollers are busy deleting my link.

People who have ever loved Mathematics might appreciate this. What with too many late nights trying to deduce why a particular question was taking you three months to solve and was a possible contender in next year's examination, the subject tends to overcome your senses. You live, breath and feel Maths. I went a step ahead, I started walking Maths.

The area I live in has islands. They are the names for circular edifices at every crossroad, with shrubberies in them. If the following picture belonged to wikimapia (it does not, its a Palit original), it would show islands like this.



Yes, slightly messy. So was Picasso.

Anyway, here is a crossroad, many cars, its late in the evening, Spiderman here is a figment of my imagination and there I am, in the right hand corner lower footpath, waiting there for fifteen minutes. All because I wanted to reach my destination by taking a path which was tangent to the island.

Given,
OP is the radius, not that it matters.
The red star shows my desired destination.
Drivers do not like me. I am a bad pedestrian.

Required to find:
A tangent which does not kill me.

I actually went to and fro the footpaths, around eleven times, till I found the right tangent, starting somewhere two meters away from my starting position.
Also, the angle alpha signifies nothing. I have forgotten what two tangents do when they intersect. Probably start a family of baby tangents and eventually end up getting divorced, but by then, I was home.

Ah, the first glimmers of sleepiness. Let the end be now.

19 scaly flippers:

FireWhisky 9:29 am, November 05, 2007  

"Yes, slightly messy. So was Picasso."

lovely post... i relly do wit they'd do something abt those buses tho...

g'nite n sweetdreams...

WHAT'S IN A NAME ? 5:04 pm, November 05, 2007  

What a original idea!!! Blogging your way to sleep... Perhaps the habitual insomniac in me will try it out next time around.

and BTB means " By The Bye".

ArSENik 1:26 am, November 06, 2007  

Peck chillin' with the conductor. Priceless! Reminds me of that Shan song where Amitabh and his everpresent sidekick Shashi Kapoor are declaring their love for plump women to the whole of India in conductor garb. Kinky stuff I tell you!

Why Spiderman though? Oh, you mean Peck in the Spiderman costume and a mathematician fan trying to get to him instead of the destination? This just gets more kiny with each analysis.

Ruchit 1:27 am, November 06, 2007  

"I have forgotten what two tangents do when they intersect. Probably start a family of baby tangents and eventually end up getting divorced, but by then, I was home."

The most witty comment that I have ever come across in this whole blog.
U are improving for sure. God bless u[:-)]

Also, ur self drawn map was good too.

[PS : Try walking along a tangent...u may reach Mr. Peck]

dreamy 11:29 pm, November 06, 2007  

Sleepless in blogosphere?
and my dear Ad Libber, How can anyone even think of removing your link from their blogroll if you consistently keep on coming up with such lovely posts? :P

Macadamia The Nut 1:06 am, November 07, 2007  

I know the feeling. It was dick van Dyke for me :( you're a bad pedestrian and i'm a bad driver. and alls not well with the world

hehe

nice post though

Angry Voices 8:37 am, November 07, 2007  

What with all the blueliners deciding to end the daily comedy in buses. Seriously.

Btw, what's a bad pedestrian? Isn't the road supposed to be curved if you can't walk...

Till fooths path ways again, excellent writing

Moo-lah Buzinezzz! 12:59 pm, November 07, 2007  

What on the blue hell is the Wagga Wagga disease??
huh??..and Spidey in Calcutta,the corporation or Bula-di would get to him for spinning up the cobwebs...i guess!!

the girl with a zillion namesakes 12:54 am, November 08, 2007  

when two tangents intersect they crossbreed and produce a new breed of tangents which can exsist independent of the circle...

and now i know why i will fail in all entrance exams

WHAT'S IN A NAME ? 11:45 am, November 08, 2007  

Thats a valid point! To spawn comments on one's blog by engaging in a conversation feels good only when there is a plurality in your audience/readership. In my case, that's absent. ( sighhhhhh...)So, me not looking for a convo to increase cmmnts on my blog. Point cleared ?

WHAT'S IN A NAME ? 11:48 am, November 08, 2007  

You see, I lack the opulence of readership you enjoy. No point denying that! :)

Abhishek... inside out 5:15 pm, November 08, 2007  

i had this situation when i tried at chess, i used to see everything as if it were a chess board. i always walked 2 and a half steps like the horse. almost every time. now, i find it really funny. is this relevant here? :O

ad libber 3:48 am, November 09, 2007  

@ firewhisky
Thank you. And those buses are our heritage, they will never change.
@what's in a name
try it out. Btw, how do I think I increase my blog comments? By commenting myself all the time :P. Readership...we all live in lala land.
@arsenik
No, spiderman 'cause I wanted to add some local colour to the picture (!!!).My article is not kinky *sniff*. And I am not a mathematician fan. I hate every subject I study.
@ruchit
oooh I am improving? thank you. But stop harping on Peck all the time. Its hard enough knowing he is dead that you have to come and add to the competition of getting him.
@dreamy and the nut
:) thank you.
@ angry voices
bad pedestrians... I cross roads and stop in the middle to untangle my earphones or because I see a passing Octavia and start day dreaming about marrying the owner. I am also trying to create this split second record of avoiding car bonnets hitting my posterior.
@moo-lah
its a tribal disease common among cannibals.
Also, I believe his web is self destructing.
@ the girl
thats the reason I failed most of mine. Wait, no, sleeping through them was.
@abhishek
I still do that when I see a tiled floor or footpaths with square stones. Always two and a half.
Does this have something to do with the need to concentrate on something else rather than walking?

The Ancient Mariner 4:59 pm, November 09, 2007  

Did I tell you before that i simply love this line:

I have forgotten what two tangents do when they intersect. Probably start a family of baby tangents and eventually end up getting divorced, but by then, I was home.

These are art...Pongo, u r on the way from being humorous to more humorous...and I wish you all the very best on diwali to write some more of this crazy nonsense stuff. I am loving it.

Abhishek... inside out 7:53 pm, November 10, 2007  

maybe too much concentration over walking, i many a times to avoid tile boundaries when walking.

but does this mean we're going to ask questions to each other with each comment either one of us posts?

Poojo C. 8:48 pm, November 12, 2007  

Loved the Palit original Picasso-messy map!

ad libber 2:58 pm, November 14, 2007  

@mariner
embarrassed cough
@abhishek
Does it increase my comments? Then yes :P
Hey, I do the avoiding of tile boundaries too. I think the root cause of all this madness is geometry.
@poojo
Thanks :P

Abhishek... inside out 10:07 pm, November 17, 2007  

do you really want all those unnecessary comments?
on the other hand, i sometimes try to step on each parallel tile boundary or alternate boundaries, boy! i really CAN be weird!
yea good idea, blame geometry!

ad libber 3:29 am, November 19, 2007  

not really unnecessary, we are learning that geometry is making pathetic losers of us all. Call it knowledge enhancement.

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