Reflections on Oranges, Death and Om Shanti Om

>> Saturday, November 17, 2007

Its five months since my first University examination (yes, this will be a cribbing, moping, depressing post again). They have been an eventful five months. I have been hospitalized, fallen in love twice, have suffered an entire month of joyous celebrations, have convinced my parents that I actually have an ambition by sheer glib talk and have made a foolproof plan of bombing the University building. However, the people in charge of correcting my papers appear to be having an even more eventful time, for the results are still as far off now as they had been five months ago. And there has been not one day since these five months I have not moaned and groaned and wished death on myself. Yes, I have been a pretty depressing company. My university does that to you. For all I know, my examination answer sheets have been recycled as flyers in the Nandigram issue, used to make temporary refuges in the cyclone ravaged areas (bit of a prediction here) or crafted into jhalmuri containers. They may never have been checked. I may not exist in the University registers. Its the sheer madness of uncertainty which actually brings on the severe depression and the forewarnings to close relatives to buy something white this Puja.

It was while I was watching OSO when i suddenly realized what is the implication of death. No its not the reincarnation jazz. My very own personal view of the movie is that its sheer rubbish and watching Budhdha Mar Gaya is more fruitful. At least you know what you are watching will give you the headache of a lifetime. But it did give me food for thought. So I will be more kindly to the movie and agree it has a few amusing moments. And I do wish Shahrukh Khan's hairdresser has that baby and gives him the damned hair cut already. He is beginning to look like a mop.

Death, I realized, is not just the end of troubles, its the end. A simple end of everything you know, wish, love, think and experience. Its not a forced removal of the future, its the discontinuity of the present. The end of the sheer excitement of existence. When I die, it just would not be the things I am looking forward to I would losing out on, even if they are rather nice things like finally getting to watch all the F.R.I.E.N.D.S. episodes, actually watch the last episode of Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi, know why Kyle XY has no bellybutton (I am thinking I watch too much TV), marrying Johnny Depp, and, of course, see how I finally turn out.

But there is so much more to life right now. There are some lovely things to live for even if Johnny Depp never finds me maddeningly attractive. (This post is just another way to convince myself that life is not all about getting a first class, bear with me). So I began listing out all the reasons I enjoy just being alive for. Here is a bit from the last revised draft

  • Oranges : They mark the beginning of winter for me, my favourite season. What is winter if not spent on some rooftop, soaking in the afternoon sun, eating orange after orange and doing Maths? (This actually goes in good points about High School. Nowadays, I do maths with the radio on, snuggled in rugs, with mugs of coffee surrounding me).
  • Mathematics : Much as I hate the subject, I love the organization which comes with it. It appeals to my messy self like a spirit finite calling to the infinite (I do not know what that means). It has begun affecting my writing style. Now whatever I write has to be bulleted. Its by sheer force of will power that I do not add footnotes.
  • Mosaic floors: They have all these small stones where, if you squint slightly, you can actually make out faces. Marble floors are cold, inhumane things which provide us with no imaginary human company. When I have a home of my own, I will keep the marble floors and get a puppy. That, I think, will be slightly less mad.
  • A.R. Rahman
  • Chalk: I eat them. More accurately, I nibble them. I find the dry texture fascinating, despite the fact I often choke on them. Of course, I mean white chalks. Coloured chalks have a weird bitter taste.
So there you go University Examiners, even if you fail me now, I still win.

You have not broken me.


As a byword, in case you watched OSO, they show SRK's reincarnated self was afraid of fire because he had died in a fire. I am afraid of
  • fire
  • water
  • ghosts
  • heights
  • dogs
I am guessing in my previous birth, I died when the ghost of a dog, blazed in flames, attacked me on a rooftop, from where I was forced to jump, falling right in to the middle of a swimming pool where I drowned. Only then do all my rational fears make sense.

17 scaly flippers:

FireWhisky 9:50 am, November 17, 2007  

i loved reading this... i think my exam sheets hv been recycled... they're bein used 2 serve jhaal moori on d streets...

n i agree with u on death... it is jst a discontinuity f d present... :)

u eat chalk? i used 2 nibble on erasers... nvr understood y dey wr so rubbery n my mum wd hit me ovr d head evrytime she caught me wid a white rectangular thingummybob in my mouth... :P

the girl with a zillion namesakes 5:10 pm, November 17, 2007  

u have been waiting for your results just 5 months i have been waiting long enough to have had a baby in the meanwhile..whats with cu
and i m going to raise the kid on a diet of chalk(i m planning to have one too much free time n nothing to do)its not bournvita or horliks its chalk that makes one brilliant
if only my mom had read blogs

Ruchit 1:23 am, November 18, 2007  

I have a frnd in clg, Sudipto, he doesnt nibble chalks, he literally eats them akin to eating candies.

And why doesnt Gregory Peck feature in the list? Isnt he one of the reasons of u being alive? Or...

...or is he the reason to DIE, so that he can be met in Heaven !!

Ha ha !!

Moo-lah Buzinezzz! 6:41 am, November 18, 2007  

yes,oranges in winter are fun.But you know whats more fun,Fear of Meteors striking earth.
And yes,university answer scripts are recycled to make toilet tissue papers....
Who cares of ending troubles during death.Its the damn end.Hallelujiah!!!

ad libber 2:46 pm, November 18, 2007  

erasers..hmm...used to put them in my mouth and leave them there, it was the texture i think...
i am wonderingnow..are chalks and erasers fattening?
@the girl with the zillion namesakes
Yes totally. I believe its a diabolical plan of CU to make people so frustrated, that when the results do arrive, no one complains about them, being lucky to have them at all.
Stick to white chalks for the kid though. I still believe coloured chalks are toxic
ever heard of protection of privacy?
what is more fun is having a dinosaur step on you.
I have a feeling we never gave the university exams. We prolly dreamt it all. The world, after all, is a matrix.

Poojo C. 7:24 pm, November 18, 2007  

OSO led you to think such deep thoughts about death?! :P

CU results! Thank God they are over and done with for me.

I ate the back of pencils. But yes, white chalk does taste better.

As for marrying Johnny Depp... u my dear have competition.

(blogrolling you)

The Ancient Mariner 8:46 pm, November 18, 2007  

nice one ... and jhalmuri thongas are an excellent recycling option of exam papers and more so if it happens before the paper has actually been checked. this means u end up getting more marks than u could ever get by truthful methods...[:)]

onnesha 9:55 pm, November 18, 2007  

have you ever tried consuming wax?
either molten or solid.i did once in an act to save my finger from burning.and have been addicted ever since.

WHAT'S IN A NAME ? 1:09 pm, November 19, 2007  

Was just going to write something on Nandigram, thought of checking if you had posted something...and what do i find ???? A rattling post which has shaken my resolve to write that write-up. Instead, I am now thinking of how I love oranges and dogs. Drat!!! Double drattt !!!

ad libber 10:59 pm, November 19, 2007  

I had deeper thoughts watching Good Boy , Bad Boy (Yes, I watch everything).
Johnny Depp has a daughter my age. Competition is not the most difficult thing I a facing :(.

@ancient mariner
Nah, you get average markings, hardly the sae thing, then you have to sue CU coz otherwise they start a disciplinary action against you. Its a very complicated thing. Remind me to post abuot it someday.

@onnesha, though I love its texture too. I have a fetish fo rtextures.

@what's in a name
as long as it makes you a happier person :)

ArSENik 3:26 am, November 20, 2007  

You want to own a puppy but you hate dogs? Hmm...looks like it is people like you who dangle love to these animals and then take it away, thus rendering them homeless and they grow up to be angry young stray dogs terrorizing you folk. Thus, it is a vicious cycle. Of course this spans multiple lifetimes. Ah logic - the bastard child of Math, or is it the other way round?

inihos 5:10 pm, November 21, 2007  

i thought chalk was poisonous...
and your exam sheets may nopt have been recycled, but the marks u have got may not be yours either.

ad libber 1:20 am, November 22, 2007  

No, no, no, I would never do such a thing. But I am glad someone noticed the discrepancy. Its just that when I was a five year old smut, five dogs attacked with intent to kill and consume, as I was convinced then. Now, I have made friends with a few and am getting over the dreaded fear that dogs eat humans. Maybe someday, I will dare to have a puppy. :)

Is all this stress worth it then?
Nah, not poisonous, I am still alive and average one chalk a day.

ArSENik 6:42 am, November 22, 2007  

Whaaaat?? Dogs don't eat humans? I, for one, cannot stand any animals other than the female variety of the human species but that too has exceptions. I have been called heartless in the past for not loving other animals. Hmm...maybe I'll change the current entry in my profile's 'From my past relationships I have learnt' in Orkut from 'Women are disposable pleasures' to 'Must love dogs', or something politically correct like that.

Doubletake, Doublethink. 11:58 pm, November 22, 2007  

this is simply brilliant. especially the last para. i don't know why i didn't add you to my blog roll earlier so that i could stalk you.

oh well. so much for being a secret stalker.

dreamy 12:21 pm, November 25, 2007  

you remind me of me. :)

orange and maths on the rooftop!

and white chalk, uh, well, its yum .:D..

new age scheherazade 10:53 pm, November 29, 2007  

So harry potter died of fright in his earlier life?
and brilliant, really.
I'm blogrolling you too?

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