Mostly About Bellybuttons

>> Sunday, October 14, 2007

Disclaimer: If any reader actually thinks this entry will be perverted, explicit and a joy to an entire section of male population, I am afraid I will have to disillusion you. Not only is it only partly about bellybuttons, it mostly talks about male bellybuttons. There, you have been warned. Now proceed at your own risk.

A Saturday night is usually a very evil way of ending a week when you have

  1. no life
  2. no chance of midnight revelries
  3. a broken down computer, mainly because you repeatedly curse at it
After weeks of slogging for *mumble mumble mumble*, I finally had a morning when I could sleep for as long as I liked, for I have been blessed with parents who actually think I need as much sleep as I can get (They live in la-la land). Which obviously meant that I had an entire night to myself to do anything I liked without parental control or sunlight (I personally am not very fond of sunlight. Its way too over rated anyway). Hence I gave up some of my most precious, treasured, cherished and rare to find free hours to channel surfing.

After wandering around aimlessly at a few Bachchan movies, I finally reached Star World where they were showing Kyle XY which is about some boy who is different from everyone else. Why? He has no belly button. Oh, granted he has this really super memory and he completed reading every section of some encyclopedia in just an afternoon, and, oh, he has these amazing reflexes, but I mean, come on, no belly button? How cool is that? Spiderman did that reflexes thingy and androids or whatever he is supposed to be have huge memory reserves. Everybody knows that. But absence of belly buttons is the most unique Superhero trait ever. They might actually call him the NO BELLYBUTTON MAN, for he would roam around masked but topless, the bellybutton-less, washboard flat stomach being his stock-in-trade. It also helped that the robot or whatever the lead character is supposed to be playing is gorgeously cute which held my interest wonderfully. But his bellybutton-less existence had me spell bound and I spent a major part of an hour wondering what would life be like without a bellybutton. Other than the fact that if one did not have a bellybutton, there would be just one lesser body part to pierce, nothing really came to my mind. Does that make the belly button a vestigial organ?

The next batch of channel surfing led to a not-so-obscure movie called Dil Vil Pyar Vyar which is basically a meaningless movie with too much of sentiment, something I abhor, but has a few songs by Hariharan. I realize Mukesh loyalists cringe at the thought of his classics rehashed, but personally, any song sung in Hariharan's mellifluous voice is magical and an entire experience in itself. Hence, I steeled myself to watch a movie I would probably whimper for the rest of my life at the memory of. Unsurprisingly for a movie with 14 songs, one soon came along with a skimpily clad Hrishita Bhatt and a horror called Jimmy Shergill who actually had the gumption to wear an orange floral shirt with white trousers and a white jacket. Mercifully, the camera did not concentrate much on him. It was too busy following Bhatt's bellybutton in and around the railway station the song was shot at. It was then I made an observation that Kyle XY would not be much good as an actress over in India.
Because he has no bellybutton.

It was over an hour when realization finally struck me. I mercifully went to sleep.

13 scaly flippers:

FireWhisky 7:44 am, October 16, 2007  

hey... i hate tat im away 4m home... cz i dnt gt 2 watch ne tv at all!!! [:(] bt i saw laga chunari mein daag & bhool bhulaiya... nt all tat bad relly... n as 4 kyle xy... my sis ws talking abt it... it sounds kind f confusin by wt she told me...

Abhishek... inside out 10:52 am, October 16, 2007  

i really don't know what to comment...
i stopped reading after the disclaimer. :|
on a more serious note, a guy without a belly button?!!! :O (wait, was this a serious note?)

Moo-lah Buzinezzz! 9:12 pm, October 16, 2007  

I second that.
Kyle XY s the stupidest sitcom ever.I made the mistake of watching it once.
Well,and I thought Venom was wierd!!..

ad libber 2:03 am, October 18, 2007  

@ firewhisky
you are not missing much. If you have watched all the FRIENDS episodes, you have seen all television has to offer to you.

Did I mention he has no memory of anything absolutely and then he remembers his birthdate, year of which is 1227? Though not having a bellybutton is still the coolest thing possible about him. Other than not having any expressions, I mean.
@moo-lah buzinezzz
Next time, I am sticking to Desperate Housewives. At some level, it starts to make sense.

dreamy 1:53 pm, October 18, 2007  

I tried imagining myself with out a belly button for like one whole minute.I felt damn uncomfortable.

Oh, yes, I am waiting for you "desperate housewives" post.I really really want to know what people think of it.

Abhishek... inside out 6:17 pm, October 18, 2007  

@adlibber: don't boast watching this kinda stuff... i watched aap ka surroor in the theatre(talk about challenges) and then RGV ki aag in one sitting(that's what you call guts!) :P

ad libber 1:14 am, October 19, 2007  

@ Dreamy
I watched possibly only two episodes of desperate housewives, probably because I was too numb with sleep to think. But someday, its a promise...
Forget KyleXY. You are the new kind of super hero.

Angry Voices 8:18 pm, October 19, 2007  

Why does Kyle XY remind me of KY Jelly. And lucky him, no navel lint. Is that a good thing though?

WHAT'S IN A NAME ? 12:53 am, October 20, 2007  

Don't get a thing about these body-piercings.

ad libber 12:14 pm, October 20, 2007  

@ angry voices
good question. What are navels useful for anyway?
@ what's in a name
look at it logically. It cures unemployment for a whole genre of people who would otherwise be disguisedly unemployed in needle making factories.

WHAT'S IN A NAME ? 1:22 am, October 21, 2007  

gr8!! What an answer!! What a wonderful wonderful answer !

Ruchit 2:27 am, October 30, 2007  

"Does that make the belly button a vestigial organ?" doesnt, it shows, that the person was born normally of a human being (it is the remnant of the joint to which the umbilical cord to the mother was attached)

Now let us look the the mortal superheroes. Spidey, Batman, Phantom, et al...all of them went bare bodied even for a fleeting period of time (but that was when they were in their low profile alter egos). What do we see? yeah, they had belly buttons. Which shows that they were born off their biological mothers.

What abt an alien superhero? Say Superman. I dont remember him, getting bare bodied, even as Clarke Kent. So, no comments abt him.

Thus we see, belly button aint a defunct entity, its the proff that u were born of a natural human being.

[PS : I dunno abt this, but I have heard that the remnant of the umblical cord present inside the body (whose external feature is our belly button) doesnt burn, on cremation. Ineffable, and invincible..aint it?]

ad libber 2:31 am, October 30, 2007  

@ *sniff*
i asked for a comment.
and if i had ever seen clark kent bare bodied i would be to pre occupied drooling to look for a belly button.
i heard clones dont have belly buttons (simpsons is increasing my gk) i wonder. could he be a clone? do i give a damn?

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