Reflections on my future

>> Sunday, October 07, 2007

Sometime last year, while having the all important decision of choosing a life-defining career option thrown at my head, to be resolved in a couple of days, I chose Economics as a graduation subject. Now, everyone who knows me realizes I am a trespasser through the complex nitty-gritties of the subject, not only because I wandered into it by accident, but because I am sticking to it by sheer will power and the fact that most of my closest friends seem equally immune to its thrills and joys. Solow Model gives me no hope for humanity and I would rather worship the duo of Jeeves and Bertie rather than Hicks and Slutsky, notwithstanding the fact that the name of the latter partly borders into an adult context.
[For the uninitiated and the interested(why?), Hicks and Slutsky are famous economists known for deriving a couple of graphs no human could ever reproduce without losing a thick thatch of cranial hair and a couple of fingernails]

However, I do not vex over the question of my future, do not fear unemployment (specially since I have to read an entire chapter on it for the next term) and certainly do not worry about ending up as a vagabond. For while at school (it was school where I devised most of my hair brained plans, aided and abetted by one of my best friends and maddest companions, ad libber KS), I had devised a career option, certain to provide me with ample means to lead a life of luxury and have a twenty-four protection from all kinds of lawful segments of society. For should not terrorists be eternally devoted to the teacher of their young, fragile youth who accompanied them in their joyful gambols and taught them the name of their first revolver?

For KS and I have decided to open up a Kindergarten for Young Terrorists for specialized attention in their selected stream of study. Both KS and I believe that the molding of an young mind should begin early and if kids were born to bomb innocent human beings, they should learn to do so early, so as to prevent any symptoms of actually having a heart. We even charted a whole new course plan with a revised system of teaching alphabets to young kids using words and metaphors familiar to them with regular usage. Which brings us to the purpose of this post, the public unveiling of

The Revised Alphabets for Kindergarten Terrorists

A is for AK 56
B is for Bombs
C is for Cartridges
D is for Dynamites
E is for Enemies
F is for Fireguns
G is for Grenades
H is for Handguns
I is for Incendiary Bomb
J is for Jail
K is for Ku Klux Klan
L is for Laserguns
M is for Machineguns
N is for Naxalites
O is for Osama
P is for Pistols
Q is for Qaeda
R is for RDX
S is for Suicide Bombers
T is for Terrorism
U is for USA
V is for V2
W is for WTC
X is from Xenophobia
Y is for Yataghan
Z is for Zealots

However there still remains a certain trepidation as to some of the mentioned might come and kill us in our sleep (I actually am presumptuous enough to think Osama Bin Laden reads my blog) so I would like to clarify with them that KS and I are not innocent citizens and murdering us would be a great service to our nation, which, as an act, is complete contrary to the image you are trying to build of yourself. Hence, if you want to remain the feared and favoured few, the best decision you could ever make is employing us as the basic infrastructure in your economy. That, my friend, would be your greatest and most fearless act as a terrorist.

15 scaly flippers:

Anonymous 3:22 am, October 08, 2007  

nice read,
too tempted to join ur gang...will an ancient mariner be suitable?

- an old hag

ad libber 4:21 am, October 08, 2007  

Dear Old Hag,
If you are a criminal by mind, unscrupulous by habit, sarcastic at speech and kind by heart, you are suitable.

The Ancient Mariner 4:57 am, October 08, 2007  

Yes indeed...

what do you think? this old hag has got all these? By the way I killed an albatros once but repented all my life...

ad libber 1:44 pm, October 08, 2007  

hmm...i smell professional jealousy.

I never liked the poem, Too fantastic for my consumption.

Ibanov, Sir Rekaf 3:26 pm, October 08, 2007  

unfortunately such schools do exist in abundance, in our neighbouring countries .. the hilly areas with no basic education, where prospective employers come and conduct campus placements .. the ones who help their mommys in the kitchen stand a better chance thanks to them being well-acquainted with melee weapons ..

they can sure use your dictionary as most of them aren't well-versed in English .. would make training them for overseas missions a hell lot easier

ad libber 3:45 pm, October 08, 2007  

which is precisely our mission, make terrorism more globally acceptable by removing language barriers

dreamy 10:04 pm, October 08, 2007  


WHAT'S IN A NAME ? 9:55 pm, October 10, 2007  

FIkarrr nott!!!! I hear Economics and economists are in vogue these days.

Poojo C. 3:53 pm, October 11, 2007  

I'm pretty sure Osama reads your blog for his everyday luaghs. :)

Random Rambler 1:19 am, October 13, 2007  

Lol... Nice.... As Ali G said... Why can't we work with the terrorists and just give them a building we want demolished and say have your fun there just don't do anything to the others... :D
P.s. you saw sense in my nonsense you deserve a chocolate! Go eat one.

ad libber 12:32 pm, October 14, 2007  

@ dreamy
I know

@ What's in a name
Who cares? I hate the subject.

@ Poojo c.
maybe he is the anonymous commenter on my blog. hmmm...

@ random rambler
I did.
Which building would you propose? Are there enough architectural monstrosities in the land?

Ruchit 2:15 am, October 30, 2007  

Well...on serious lines, I blv Osama wud personally congratulate u, and decorate u with the Order of All Kadaa...... Maan, u fulfilled one of his most important missions : to start teaching terrorism from the roots.

Providing the kids with a new definition of ABCs from ground zero (pun intended), wud help them get well versed with this emerging "technology" from start.

How I wish, the first words of a newborn are "mines" instead of "ma/mama" .

ad libber 2:24 am, October 30, 2007  

d-uh what pun?

Ruchit 2:31 am, October 30, 2007  

ummm.....the ground zero thingy. Ground zero can be said as the starting point, from where u start without any prior knowledge of anything, not even the basics. On the other side, it is also the famous place in New York, where the WTC was razed to the dust...a mark of terrorism

ad libber 2:41 am, October 30, 2007  

good lord

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