My Ramble-Scramble Pujo Post-I

>> Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Five Rather Weird Pujo Occurences 2007

  • Even at 4:30 a.m. at Maddox Square, it is perfectly possible to meet someone you know, complete with additional props like drunken stupor . Our group had 9 girls and had the innate power to wake up around 73 guys, all resplendent with their cameras and weird hairstyles, which, as everyone knows, is the mating call of our generation. The presence of 7 boys with us could not defeat their purpose. The spirit of Maddox Square glows splendidly in these 73 men.

  • Houses actually have signs stating "Ei gate-r shamne roll ba Pepsi jatiyo khaddyo grohon korben na (Do not consume eatables like Pepsi and roll in front of this gate)". I still don't see why. Pepsi is possibly the least likely thing one would spill. Unless they used is as an example of the genre it belongs to, alluding to tequilas or beers. Though I do not see people trying to have tequilas on a corner plot at God knows where, where everyone in the world, specially relatives, are liable to see them. But why rolls? I like rolls. Long live rolls. I do not like cockroaches.

  • At Ekdalia and Singhi Park, they cordon off people like cows (not people who look like cows, but the act of cordoning them was similar to putting cows in sheds. No, I do not look like a cow). Though I have been told its quite an usual phenomena during pujo. However, what was more creepy was the fact that just a few hours before, I had watched a friend being turned into a cow in a play. Coincidence? I think not. Our existence is an illusion which is preventing us from realizing that we are all cows and after the famed nuclear holocaust, cows will be the only living creatures left for they are actually cockroaches in disguise. What we call cockroaches now are actually the real human beings. For do not they outnumber us all and behave as if they are planning a devious attack to wipe us from the face of earth?

  • The major Pujo headlines this year was the fact that both Rani Mukherji and Kajol wore sunglasses on Ashtami. Half of the world was scandalized at this apparent blasphemy in the name of Ashtami Anjali, the other half was busy admiring them. Of course, there is one section left, who do not belong to the world, mainly because of the fact that they do not really understand why it is news. Why is it news? Someone's hair got stuck in the blades of a table fan during Anjali last year at our para. Where were the scandal mongering journalists, I prithee? Does not this incident count as profanity?

  • They had a Pandal based on Central Jail. Durga, I am assuming is the warden. Unless it is Durga who is the innocent victim accused of some heinous crime she did not commit, Shiva is her lawyer, Ganesha and all her prison mates and the Asura is therefore either the true perpetrator of the crime or the warden. Unless it was the warden who did it. Damn. Why can't butlers be wardens? Then the butler could do it. Butlers always do it. That is what butlers are for. It justifies their existence.


A lot happened these Pujas. Most importantly, I fell in love. Some people do it madly, some idiotically, some precipitately. I? I do it in all three ways. For I went and fell in love with Gregory Peck. He is dead. But he is gorgeous. He has that aquiline nose I could kill to get into the genes of my future generations. For I have one which would put Indira Gandhi to shame. Does he have a son? A grandson? Does he look like him? I solemnly believe people as good looking as that should reproduce like crazy so that at least one kid turns out exactly like him. Though how Rakesh Roshan begat Hrithik Roshan remains a standing mystery, right after the great question of Who funds Dev Anand movies?


I also broke up with my long standing boyfriend of one year, who turned all of five this year. Reason being he prefers being carried around by my sister rather than me. Any person who prefers my sister to me has absolutely no taste at all. So we decided to end it this year. (I am not a pedophile. I would have waited for him to turn 21 before we got married. Its just that he was not maturing fast enough to realize the enormity of our relationship. Plus, he has a crush on this four year old. I can fight tooth and nail for my man but I cannot defy age. Youth calls to youth. I am nineteen, going on forty, with mid life crisis fast looming. I had no hope.)

Pujo this year was not only about failed romances with deceased men and alliances with babies. It was not only about Pandal hopping either. I hope to write more about it in my next post. Until then
Shubo Bijoya.

17 scaly flippers:

onnesha 4:51 pm, October 24, 2007  

brilliant post!
very very graphic.and yes!
its entirely possible that you bump into your weirdest acquaintances at maddox square.
i never figure anywhere near a five year old.they are snooty.i dont believe i was ever a five year old.
and that rakesh roshan hrithik roshan thing?
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
i have been thinking my head off since 2001...

ad libber 6:10 pm, October 24, 2007  

I blindly believe everything about Maddox Square from now on.
Why do you think I broke up. Another reason was he kept on repeating I hate you.
As about Hrithik Roshan. I am waiting to see how his son turns up.

Noisy Autist 6:25 pm, October 24, 2007  

I roamed around the Maddox for thirty minutes one evening and didnt bump into ONE person I know... *sob sob...

Anyway, enjoyed reading it immensely. :)

ad libber 7:26 pm, October 24, 2007  

You know what, that means your circle of friends do not include drunk, frustrated, desperate guys. Go celebrate.

dreamy 3:48 pm, October 25, 2007  

"Our existence is an illusion which is preventing us from realizing that we are all cows and after the famed nuclear holocaust, cows will be the only living creatures left for they are actually cockroaches in disguise. What we call cockroaches now are actually the real human beings. For do not they outnumber us all and behave as if they are planning a devious attack to wipe us from the face of earth?"


One of the most profound philosophies EVER in the HISTORY of Blogging!

WHAT'S IN A NAME ? 11:24 pm, October 25, 2007  

To start with:

SHUVO BIJOYAAA, Ritika !!!

next:

Why not post the entire array of pujo-experiences in a single family-size package ???

last :

I cover at least 200 BUMPER pujos every year, roving throughout the length and breadth of the city..... and nobody had the minimal decency of informing me where this "central Jail" theme was ????

darn! COckroackes in their rolls !!

Moo-lah Buzinezzz! 10:56 am, October 26, 2007  

Haha!!...Yes,Maddox is a wierd place.It always makes you realize how small the world is.Especially when you really dont want it.
And sigh!..Calcutta still hasnt changed.Guys still flock to maddox every pujo,just in the hope, of being paired up with some 'chick'.
Its really fun seeing them try with the hairstyles!!!....hahahaha!!!
And Dev Anand movie...ditto!!!

Abhishek... inside out 1:37 pm, October 26, 2007  

u broke up with him! :O
why?? haven't you heard this: "Let your love lose, if it comes back its yours; if it doesn't, it never was"
hmm, you just did that.. sorry, please omit. :|

i wish we had a maddox here in mad(do)ras
Damn my freakin brain which got me into doing college here!

The Ancient Mariner 12:59 pm, October 27, 2007  

for me one of the weirdest things were the invasion of the biryani walas... u can run but u can never hide from a biryani smell... and where ever u go in kolkata there is a biryani walla waiting for you seems to be some quite apt titles which I am planning to write down as my epic journey into the heart of this city of chaos...

madhurima 7:14 am, October 28, 2007  

dont worry....u'll find a guy soon who isnt dead or a baby...but to find a guy whoz matured?....that mite take a while! till then keep posting such amazing blogs n u'll sure get urself a few fans :)

FireWhisky 10:41 am, October 29, 2007  

lovely post... and shubo bijoya (tho i am late)... i'll second madhurima on ds... i relly do think mature guys r nearing extinction... i hv a 5 yr old for a father and a 2 year old for a bf [:P]

ad libber 7:59 pm, October 29, 2007  

@dreamy
Thank you. Its a scary thought though.

@what's in a name
Shubho Bijoya to you too. In case you are older than I am, accept my pronams. I need all the blessings I can acquire before my results.
Do not worry about the next pujo post. And the Central Jail Theme was disappointing. Its only attraction lay in its novelty.

@moo-lah buzinezzz
Its smaller than you think. I also met my Grandma!!!

@abhishek
Do not insult Chennai. Its my Mecca. A.R. Rahman lives there.
And there was no love. He hates me. And I decided to marry him because I was feeling bored.

@ancient mariner
hmm..I like biriyani. So do not really mind that smell.

@madhurima
I do not want any guy. I want Gregory Peck. He is dead. I will die too. Then my ghost could turn into Jessica Alba and we will get married in heaven.

@firewhisky
all the guys I know call me immature. Where do I stand now?

WHAT'S IN A NAME ? 10:38 pm, October 29, 2007  

All my BEST WISHES for your result, dear. Don't u worry! U'll do fine.
( As I can figure from orkut, I am a tad advanced in age than you :) ) So...Pronaams..accepted!!!

..hmmm...now movin onto your next post..

Ruchit 2:44 am, October 30, 2007  

U talked abt some nuclear holocaust. U know what? Cockroaches and Ants are the only (I dont know abt any other) beings that can escape nuclear radiation. This was proved in Nevada during a nuke testing. Cockroaches came out unscathed. Eekss....will the insect never leave us in peace? Its one of the oldest insects since the last 295 million years

"Damn. Why can't butlers be wardens? Then the butler could do it. Butlers always do it. That is what butlers are for. It justifies their existence."

What butlers u are talking abt? Rhett Butler?Or Domovoi Butler of Artemis Fowl? ha ha ha ha

This entry has everything : nuclear holocaust, maddox square, cows, cockroaches, geregory peck, paedophilia (just a mention of it, which ad libber vehemntly refutes), mid life crisis..........

I hope u aint suffering mid life crisis at 20 itself?

ad libber 2:47 am, October 30, 2007  

1) I am 19!!!!!!!!!!!
2)butlers mean butlers as a working class in general. In most mystery books, its a cliched line used that the butler did it. Its Hindi version was used in Kuch Kuch Hota Hain (I hope you haven't watched it)
3)will you please stop using my blog as a gk forum? pwetty pwease?

ArSENik 2:08 am, October 31, 2007  

Probably the best post I have read on Pujo this year (and I have ready quite a few). This one has the makings of a blockbuster - romance, heartbreak, action, philosophy(?), comedy. Or maybe the bulletstyle no nonsense contents appeal to my emotionless mind. Keep writing! Shubho Bijoya. (which according to a friend you can keep wishing people till Diwali?!)

ad libber 2:49 am, October 31, 2007  

Oh heck, thank you :)

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